I hate flying with the burning passion of a thousand white-hot suns. Perhaps the only things I hate more are television medical dramas, baked goods with fruit, and Wisconsin winters. So, Dawn and I decided to escape the cold for a few days and take a trip to Texas. Since we didn’t have a lot of travel time, flying was a necessity.
“But Tim,” I hear you saying, “it’s not winter anymore. It’s April. Springtime. Birds chirping, sun shining, children laughing.”
Oh, you poor, naive fool. Do you know what happened the day after we returned from our trip? It snowed. Wisconsin has approximately one day of transition from frozen wasteland to burning, humid hell. That day is known around these parts as ‘spring.’ Sometimes you don’t even realize you missed spring until it’s ninety degrees and you’re sweating profusely from your hibernation spot under three electric blankets.
But I digress. Today’s comic isn’t about my hatred of winter. Today’s comic is about how airplanes are steel death traps being hurtled 30,000 feet into the air at high velocity.
“But Tim, I’m reading your comic, so you obviously made it home alive.”
OK, first, your interruptions are getting a little annoying. Please stop.
And second, did I make it home alive? Maybe I scheduled today’s comic strip before we left. Maybe I’m currently lying under a pile of smoldering wreckage, buried in the side of a mountain. Maybe the search party can’t even reach us because of the treacherous conditions. Maybe my children are, at this very moment, being told by grandma why they are going to live with her and grandpa from now on. Do you feel good about your assumptions now?
OK, yes, we made it home safely. See you Monday!
– New comic strips every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday! Illustrations created using ToonDoo.